Deidara's Diary
by wordlessNovella
Summary: A short in which Hidan steals Deidara's diary. Chaos ensues :P
1. Chapter 1

Deidara sighed. He'd had a long day.

He went to his room and dropped his cloak to the floor. He put his bag of clay and his ring on the vanity. He sat down, staring at his reflection. His long, shiny blond hair, devious eyes, and slim figure are very attractive. And, hopefully, to a certain man.

Deidara sighed wistfully and pulled his hair out of its ponytail. He brushed it, thinking about the pain in the ass that he'd had to take care of all day. Tobi had gotten his finger bitten by a venus fly trap. Again.

The bomber walked over to his closet, pulling out blue jeans and a black t-shirt. He grabbed some other things from his vanity, then walked over to his bed. He stood on his knees and reached up to the ceiling-height shelf. He reached all the way back until he felt the key to his diary. Then he grabbed it, and hopped down.

Deidara walked out of his room, forgetting to lock the door. He went down the hall and opened the door to the bathroom. He put his clothes on the sink, placing the key beside them.

The blonde boy stripped down, turning on the water. He waited a few seconds, then stepped into the steaming spray. He near-immediately felt the relaxation spread throughout his body. He noticed every drop of water running over his body, every muscle relaxed and happy, and he even noticed the smell of the shampoo he regularly uses was still faintly emanating from his hair.

He didn't notice, however, that someone had walked into the bathroom. That someone was standing extremely close to the sink... That someone left again. He was too busy scrubbing his hair.

He jolted, startled, as Hidan's cruel laughter rang through the hall suddenly. Deidara slipped and fell, slamming his elbow against the side of the tub as he went down. He jerked himself off the floor of the tub and turned off the water. He grabbed his towel, wrapping it around his waist. Then he walked out to investigate the scene.

"Hidan, Shut the hell up, un!" He yelled. "What the hell is so funny, hmm?" He stared at the Jashinist, who was sitting on the floor laughing. He had something in his hand. Belatedly, Deidara recognized the cover of his diary, the hand-drawn spider staring back at him in innocence. The lock was on the floor, the key still in its slot.

"What the hell is _wrong_ with you, hmm?!" Deidara screamed. Hidan didn't answer; he merely got up and took off down the hall, howling with laughter.

"Fucking Hidan.....hn." Deidara went in the bathroom and got dressed. He went to his room, grabbed a couple things, and ponytailed his hair. Then he went on his Hidan hunt.

* * *

About ten minutes later, he found Hidan. He was reading Deidara's diary to Tobi. To _Tobi!!_

Deidara stormed over and snatched the diary from Hidan's hand. Hidan continued to howl with laughter. "Hey, Blondie!" he singsonged heartlessly.

Tobi was giggling. "Wow, Senpai! Tobi didn't know you liked Ita-"

Deidara hovered over Tobi menacingly. "Say anything to _anyone_, hmm," He began. "And I'll _kill _you. Got that, yeah??"

The masked man shrank about six inches, nodding.

Deidara turned, giving Hidan a death glare. "Why the hell'd you do that, un?!"

"It was worth it!" Hidan howled, then he began mocking Deidara. " 'Oh, Itachi! I love you _sooo_ much! You're long, _shiny_ hair! Your _beau_tiful, sharingan eyes!' " Hidan got a devious look on his face suddenly.

"What, hmm?" Deidara asked, cautiously but yet ready to kill Hidan for whatever it was that he was thinking.

"I'm gonna tell him!" Hidan was grinning evilly.

"No, you're not, hmm! If you say one word to him, so help me I'll- I'll blow you to pieces then feed you to Zetsu! Yeah!" Deidara shrieked, his voice rising in pitch with each word.

"I'm fucking telling him and you can't fucking stop me, Barbie Boy!" Hidan darted off, laughing. He didn't feel the legs of the clay spider that had crawled up his back, though.

As Hidan ran, Tobi belatedly pieced it together.

"S-Senpai, d-don't do it!" The boy shrieked.

"Why the fuck shouldn't I, hmm?" Deidara had his hands in the hand seal of the Tiger position.

"Because....Because Tobi asked you?" Tobi guessed hopefully.

"Not good enough, hmm. _Katsu!_" Deidara completed the jutsu.

Hidan stood in Itachi's doorway, about to spill Deidara's secrets. "Itachi guess what! Deidara likes-" He didn't get a chance to finish. He exploded in a bout of blood and limbs.

Tobi began shrieking as he was hit with both blood and what looked like Hidan's left hand.

Deidara smirked in triumph, then walked off to change his shirt and put his Diary back.

* * *

Sorry about the lack of yaoi ^^; In the next chapter there'll be plenty of lemon-flavored yaoi, though!^^


	2. Chapter 2

"Deidara?" Itachi was knocking on Deidara's door. The blonde instantly grew nervous. He tried to play it cool.

"Yes, Itachi, hmm?" He attempted at sounding uninterested.

"Mind if I come in?"

"Wh-Whatever, un..."

Itachi sidled into Deidara's room. He sat on the edge of the bed casually. "So Deidara," He began, leaning back on his hands. "I heard Hidan trying to tell me something about you...What was that all about?" He turned toward Deidara, his eyes devious and unpredictable.

"Uhm....Nothing, hmm...." Deidara toyed with the ends of his hair nervously. He tried his hardest not to pay attention to Itachi's nearness.

"Oh, c'mon Deidara." Itachi mock-pouted. "Why won't you tell me? Is it about _me_?"

Deidara blushed. '_Damn!_' He thought. 'Why do I have to blush _now_, of all times?!'

Itachi chuckled, teasing Deidara. "Is that a yes? That seems like one to me."

Deidara just sat there, blushing and playing with the ends of his hair. He refused eye contact. Itachi grabbed Deidara's wrists and pushed him down on the bed, so he was laying on top of Deidara all in one move, catching the blonde by surprise. Deidara turned every shade of red possible.

"Deidara, do you like me?" Itachi asked, his voice merely a breathy whisper. Deidara could smell the spicy cinnamon gum he was chewing.

"Uhmm....I-I uh...." Deidara couldn't spit it out. Itachi smirked and began to kiss Deidara lightly and repeatedly.

"Because, Deidara," Itachi breathed between kisses. "_I_ like _you_."

By this point, Deidara could barely breathe. He just managed to squeeze out, "I-Itachi-kun, I _do_ like you...A lot....hn..."

Itachi pressed his body against Deidara's, kissing the blonde passionately. Deidara could barely breathe. He blushed as a bulge formed in his pants. Itachi felt it, too. He ground his hips against Deidara's, creating one in his own pants. He recieved a moan from the artist, and began to grind all the more. Slowly he pulled Deidara's shirt off with his mouth, then he trailed his tongue over the blonde's bare chest. Deidara pulled off Itachi's shirt.

Deidara grazed the mouths on his hands over Itachi's back and chest, the tongues licking and the teeth nipping at his skin. They continued licking and stripping one another. Soon enough, they were both declothed.

Itachi flipped Deidara over. He licked his index and middle fingers, then inserted them into Deidara's entrance. He spread him wide enough, then began pushing himself into Deidara. The blonde whined repeatedly as Itachi went in further. Itachi set them at a slow, easy rythm. As Deidara moaned Itachi's name, he began thrusting harder. He picked up the pace until Deidara finally screamed out, "_Itachi!! I-I'm going to cum, hn!!"_

Itachi came at that moment, and Deidara followed a second later. They lay there a moment, breathing heavily. Itachi pulled himself out of Deidara, and they both sat up.

"What the fuck was that screaming about?!" Hidan appeared in the doorway at that moment. He saw Deidara and Itachi, and shouted "What the _fuck!!_"

Itachi and Deidara shared a smile, and Hidan stormed off, completely pissed.

"I-Itachi-kun...Hmm?" Deidara looked at him.

"What?" Itachi cocked an eyebrow.

Deidara grinned deviously. "Can we do that again, yeah?"


End file.
